Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my shit smells like andre
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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