so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
