the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
