Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
