I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
