I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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