there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
