so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
