Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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