sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
