Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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