Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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