Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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