Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
