ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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