I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
