My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
