its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
