I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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