And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
