piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
