well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
