Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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