She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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