So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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