But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
