So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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