Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
