Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
