my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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