I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
