one might say we're banned from that church
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
