So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize