Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
