we have officially lost it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
