This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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