he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize