is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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