Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
