i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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