Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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