Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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