Already got asked if we're dating
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
