More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
