we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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