is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
