she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
