Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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