I looked at my own cervix.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
