he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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