I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize