she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
