She's JV to your varsity
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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