ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
