He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I know her cup size but not her name....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
