I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
