i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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