she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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