My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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