remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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