so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
