Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
